How to Network When You’re Not a Natural
Years ago when I was exploring setting up my own consultancy I sought advice from people who had been running their own businesses. One common message I heard was about the value and criticality of networking. Having worked in in the same company for so long, I never had to worry about networking. I was fortunate in that my next opportunities always came to me through mentors or those more senior to me in the organization. I never had to actually go through the process of networking. My network was built organically through work interactions.
When I left banking to start consulting, I was thrust into the realm of networking: trying to synthesize all the advice I’d gotten from master networkers about perfecting my pitch, being authentic, networking without expectation, etc., etc. and let me say, I was pretty bad at it. First, I’m in introvert…so there’s that. Second, I was raised in a “be seen, not heard” household so I was trained not to be a bother. Third, networking was no longer optional…it was a must putting added pressure on my interactions. With anything, practice and repetition helped build the muscle I needed to get comfortable with networking. Over time, I overcame the anxiety of networking using these principles as a guide:
Pick a Role Model – You probably have someone in your orbit who is great at networking. Find that person and emulate them. I know lots of people who can walk up to anyone in a room and start a conversation. These are the natural networkers! Observe how they do it and try it out. Someone else’s methods might not suit you 100% but chances are there’s something in their networking repertoire that can work for you.
Practice – There is no shortage of formal networking groups or panels and events with networking time built into their agendas. Most networking groups allow a few free visits up front, while panels can charge a small fee for attendance. These forums are great opportunities to force yourself to interact and talk about who you are and what you do. Added benefits of the formal networking group? You might find yourself a role model! And you’ll also get to hear different kinds of elevator pitches to find the one that suits you best.
Prepare to Fail – I’ve tried so many different ways to talk about what I do and at this point I can tell what goes over well and what doesn’t. Doing this repeatedly has helped me to not take the fails too personally. I’m disappointed, sure, but I don’t question my existence or my skills! Failure is a part of life and while it mostly sucks, it’s a sure way to improve.
Patience, Please! – It’s best to think about networking as an investment, not immediate gratification. Many networking conversations you have will lead to nothing, some will lead to another connection and conversation, a few may turn into a job offer or a project. Go into networking as an opportunity to learn, to build your community and gain insights.
Networking is an experience where you’ll get out of it what you put into it. You have to do the work. Lastly, don’t forget to use your networking as an opportunity to help other people out. To build meaningful connections, you have to be willing to give of yourself whether it’s your time, your knowledge or your own power to refer.