What I Learned from My Bad Bosses

Leadership has been on my mind lately. With all that’s going on in the world the question keeps coming up. Where is the leadership? Who is guiding us through our crises? It’s caused me to reflect on my own leadership skills and on the managers and leaders I’ve encountered throughout my career. I had 18 managers during my corporate career and only six of them would fall into the bad category. And bad is a scale. For me it ranges from bosses who I’d hide from to bosses who were completely harmless but totally ineffective. The rest were great or neutral in terms of their management skills, their ability to lead a team and their interactions with their peers or direct reports.

I've learned from everyone who has managed me. The bad ones, however, left an indelible mark.  Along with funny anecdotes I can tell or inside jokes I can share with my former colleagues, I took away tangible skills from those experiences. If it weren’t for these bad bosses, I wouldn’t have honed these essential skills:

Network Building: When you’re working for someone who won’t be your advocate or your coach, it’s important to make connections with other leaders inside or outside your organization. Bad bosses typically don’t leave so it’s up to you to make a move elsewhere. The best way to do that is through networking. I made a point of getting to know people outside of my department and built relationships with my manager’s peers. And I always got to know my boss’ boss. These are all no brainers. Letting others see your skills and get to know you for yourself will give you plenty of opportunity to eventually make a move. Having a network to leverage is important in any work situation, good or bad.

Feedback Seeking: A lot of my interactions with bad bosses were confidence killers. I remember one moment when a manager who’d known me for all of 30 days told me that I didn’t seemed stressed enough at work. To him, that was a bad thing! It meant I wasn’t working hard enough, which was not the case. I had another boss who "no-showed" every single one of our one-on-one meetings and never returned a message or an email from me. Confidence killed! Look for feedback from your bad boss and from others. Get a broad view of how you’re doing and take an introspective look at your own performance. When you’re working in a bad environment it’s easy to let the toxicity of that situation color your view of how you’re doing. Getting feedback and input can help give you a balanced view of how you’re doing and where you can make any necessary adjustments.

Career Management: One common thread I saw with all of my bad bosses is they were out to make their own career marks. They were ambitious and driven. They were all about them, which is an important lesson in work. There are some rare cases where a mentor or an advocate will help usher you along in your career. But most often, you’re on your own. Your boss, especially the bad one, is not going to help you get the next promotion/raise/big project. You have to be your own advocate, ask for what you want and make your own career moves. If you don’t know how to do it, there are so many resources available from blog posts to podcasts to career coaches that will offer practical advice for navigating the chess game that is your career.

Do you have bad boss stories to share? Let’s discuss!

What I Learned from My Kid’s Zoom School

As a working parent it’s been difficult for me to be completely tuned in to my son’s school experience. Before COVID19, we outsourced homework and tutoring as much as financially possible and we relied on school as a babysitter of sorts. Obviously that all went out the window with Stay at Home orders and social distancing. Now I juggle the demands of consulting along with the demands of Zoom school, which has been both fun and frustrating.

What I’ve realized is that there’s a lot we working parents can learn a lot from our kids’ virtual school experience. While eavesdropping on middle school classes I found three principles consistently at play in the classroom that should always translate to the conference room.

Eliminate Distractions – my son’s Zoom classes followed these ground rules: no eating, no pets, no toys, no devices. How many meetings do we sit through where colleagues are half paying attention while they scroll on their phones or answer emails on their laptops? This type of multitasking was a no-no in the virtual classroom. Meetings would be much more effective, and faster, if we take away distraction.

Everyone’s Ideas Count – do you remember the kid who always had his or her hand raised in the classroom? Their son or daughter are doing the same thing! In the classes I overheard the teachers made a point of seeking input from the quieter kids. It was important that all voices be heard and that there was a diversity in perspectives and points of view. Next time you run a meeting, try engaging the introverts.

Emotional Intelligence is Essential – I was blown away with the empathy and patience displayed by my son’s teachers. No matter how many times the students asked the same question that had already been answered, the teachers kept their cool. It was a brilliant reminder of how we should treat our coworkers. The way we field questions lobbed at us in our meetings can influence the way our teams interoperate and succeed.

While all of these points are common sense, they are easy to forget when we’re working and operating in the unknown. Lucky for us we have the next generation to remind us of the basics.

What have you observed in the virtual classroom, let’s discuss!

Leading Through Adversity: How to Adjust Your Style to Weather Any Storm

If this pandemic has taught us anything, the level and style of leadership across the US Government and US Businesses varies widely. A quick look at government leaders like  Donald Trump, Joe Biden, Dr. Fauci, Andrew Cuomo, Gavin Newsom shows how differently a crisis can be addressed. For the public, there seems to be no middle ground. You either love the way they’re handling things or you hate it. The same seems to be true with our captains of industry: Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos. Are they helping the world or helping themselves?

One thing is evident being a leader is difficult, leading through adversity is next level stuff. When you’re in a leadership position, whether it’s at work, as a volunteer or within your friend circle, how do you adapt your style to fit the situation?

Read, Don’t React: when things are changing, a leader must quickly read the situation and accept that change is occurring. He or she may not understand the full extent of the change or know how to solution it, but recognizing that there’s a shift is critical. This is not the time to be obtuse or flippant about what’s happening. Leaders stand out when they can say, “I see this happening and we’ll get through it.”

Adopt a 360° View: during a crisis it’s easy to look outward to find a cause or pinpoint a problem. This may be key to identifying the “what” of it all. But in order to adjust, a leader must look within. For example, are you a leader who takes input from others or do you act on your own advice? Are you purely data driven or do you apply gut feel to decision making? Understanding your leadership motivators will help you pivot, strengthen or soften where needed.

Be the Calm: When your team struggles or is concerned about what’s next you have the opportunity to hear them out. Town Halls, Manager Q&As or AMAs are easy ways to solicit feedback and hear what’s on your team’s mind. Recognize that as a leader, people need to hear from you and you need to hear from them. The act of listening should never be underestimated.

How have you evolved your leadership style to navigate a crisis? Let’s discuss!

Want to Be a Leader? First Things First: You Have to Earn It

The title of manager does not necessarily a leader make. In other words, the terms are not interchangeable. I’ve encountered many managers leading large projects or teams who struggled to garner support or bring their visions to life. Those leaders expected staff to fall in line or simply follow because they were in charge. They underestimated the fundamentals of strong leadership and the importance of leading by example.

Leaders have specific qualities that are universally recognized and respected:

•Good Listeners: Open to hearing other people’s opinions, a leader will engage and connect with people at all levels. 

This an area where my startup clients excel. I find early stage companies more open to hearing differing points of view. They embrace dissent, something they call out in their job descriptions. This type of environment comes from the head down. My startup CEOs lead by listening and by embracing their team's perspectives.

•Relatable: No matter the position in the company, a leader can easily find common ground with others. 

For example, I worked with a manager who was undergoing treatment for cancer, and he used his experiences to promote health and the importance of a work-life balance. He was not afraid to be human—and this built trust with team members.

•Decision Makers & Risk Takers: Leaders have the ability to make decisions without direction from others. They are thoughtful risk takers and consistently move forward—undeterred by mistakes and failures. 

I once worked for a manager who was leading a major technology launch. It was highly complex and highly visible, both to senior management and the company’s clients. A lot went wrong with the launch but this manager gathered a team of trusted individuals, problem solved and fixed what was broken. He was under tremendous pressure but he leveraged his team, made decisions and moved people into action. My teammates and I didn’t think twice about working around the clock to course correct. We were behind our boss 100% because he led by action and inspired us to do the same.

All managers have the potential to become leaders. How? Trust in yourself that you’ll be able to work through every situation. Focus on your responsibility to your team instead of their responsibility to you and you will inspire them to believe in you. 

Contact me today to work on transforming into the type of leader you dream of becoming!